Reciprocity
Meaning: a situation or relationship in which two people or groups agree to do something similar for each other, to allow each other to have the same rights, etc. : a reciprocal arrangement or relationship
I believe you cannot have community without reciprocity.
Many people say they want community but do not want to do what is needed to build it. There's always a reason not to show up, not to get involved. Is it apathy? Entitlement? Anxiety?
It takes more than a follow on an online page to truly be in community. Community is not passive. Putting yourself out there, feeling the fear and doing it anyway is a scary but necessary step. Knowing rejection is a possibility but not allowing it to consume you. Rejection is just information. Courage is needed to build community to be part of a community.
It feels as though many want the ready made community they can just walk into not understanding that they too bring the vibe, bring the skills, bring the presence and support. Community isn't about extraction.
Community is a support system when done right. It can be a lifeline to many. A place to know you're not alone. A space to have the hard, uncomfortable conversations. A place where repair is pride of place over perfection.
Community isn't authentically pleasing table settings and instagram posimg walls. Although I do love a good interior design or event dressing but that is the fluff. Community is substance. In order for the community to become that you have to get use to being uncomfortable and inconvenienced. It is the price you pay for community. Knowing that there are a group of people out there who are truly looking out for you and doing what they can to keep building together. How can you build trust if you never leave your house and be in the company of others?
If you too would like a joy filled community where you can celebrate the small wins, talk about difficult subjects without judgement, try new things, while learning to accept the parts of yourself you were taught to hate, ignore or dim.
Join us The Joy of Collective
The Joy of Collective is a community for women to connect with other women so they can build their own village while learning to be a villager themselves.
We are based in Suffolk and host in person and virtual meet-ups and events.